"Top Five Reasons Why Filipinos Should've Played Hobbits in the film, LORD OF THE RINGS". (12/25/01)

5. From the kneecaps down, Filipino men got some hairy-ass feet. I have cousins in the Philippines who still don't wear shoes, cause barefeet are more comfortable.

4. When it comes to gold rings, we might be the last ones on Earth to give them up. I have mean aunties who love to brag about their rings yet never show them to us...those greedy assho__s!

3. Having names like Bilbo, Frodo and Pippin ain't nothing to many of us who have uncles and aunties already named Beng Beng, Jun Jun, Alwin and Baby.

2. Having tall white men with their larger than life tales come to our lands to recruit us into fighting their wars is also nothing new. General McArthur/Gandalf....hmmm?, you tell me.

1. And many years after the One true ring is destroyed after so much death and sacrifice, Hobbits, like Filipinos, will probably never get their due Middle Earth War Veteran benefits.